For the longest time now, since before I got my iPhone from a tall, stupid redhead who I miss dearly, Twitteriffic was my Twitter client of choice. I liked its unique and customizable design, easy transfers between accounts, color coding for types of tweets, and I'm not gonna lie, its name just suggested fun to me (and it was).
A couple months ago though, subpar-IMO Tweetie came out with Tweetie 2 and oh how the blogs were ablaze with praise. It didn't phase me though — I didn't believe anything could be better than listening to that bluebird sing when new posts came to my feed. But there was one, glaring problem with Twitteriffic and that was its lack of a landscape keyboard.You see, I came from a Sidekick 2008 and before that, a Sidekick iD. I had widescreen, QWERTY typing instilled into my text messaging brain and thumbs. Big, physical buttons for big, not-technically-finger appendages. Typing in portrait, on a touchscreen at that, is a hassle. I've gotten better at vertical pecking (no homo), but when 3.0 was released, the feature I was most excited about was landscape typing. So I says to myself, I says "Hmm, well Tweetie 2 does that... If everyone in TechBlogosphere is so excited for this app, I'll shell out $3, bring lunch to work one day, and give it a go."(BOOM, you are now two days ahead in time. Hurl bags are in the pocket in front of you.) Well fuck me, I can't believe I waited so long. It is just beautiful! When Johnny Ive designed the iPhone, the blokes who made Tweetie 2 must have latched their SDK to his brain (via FireWire, duh) and matched the sex factor to a T. Tweetie 2 is the quintesential iPhone app. It's simple, flawless, functional, and has a classic sort of pretty like my girlfriend had on her prom night*. It has landscape and candy canes and Red Vines and blue lights and all things good. If Tweetie 2 had a scent, it would be a vanilla candle. It is so utterly delicious, you want to bite into its waxy, glass body and savor the sweetness. It's so comfortable and inviting, but so cool and collected at the same time, you want to ask it out on a date. You know it'll say no though, not because it's a bunch of 1s and 0s, but because it's not really on your level now, is it?
Tweetie 2, despite its lame Hollywood sequel name, should come preloaded on OS 4.0. Fuck, it should come on 3.1.3. Apple should buy this company and have them fix the UI that I didn't think was in any state of needing repair. So if you aren't loading up your App Store or iTunes right now and telling yourself you'll just skip that Soy Pumpkin Chai next time, you are doing a disservice to — I'm just gonna go ahead and say it — all the narwhals in the world. It's a scientific law that they will lose their tusks if you don't ditch Echofone or Twitteriffic or whatever fucking stupid Twitter client you have for the absolute clean grace and poise of Tweetie 2. * For the record, my girlfriend still has that classic beauty. Points!
